Fifty Shades of Barry

March 15, 2014 § 9 Comments

Dave Barry does a book review of a popular bit of femporn.

You need to have an honest, no-holds-barred conversation about sex with the special woman in your life — provided you’re a superhot billionaire who can move without being seen.

So why did I read it? I read it because, as a man with decades of experience in the field of not knowing what the hell women are thinking, I was hoping this book would give me some answers. Because a lot of women LOVED this book. And they didn’t just read it; they responded to it by developing erotic feelings—feelings so powerful that in some cases they wanted to have sex with their own husbands.

§ 9 Responses to Fifty Shades of Barry

  • Amyclae says:

    “feelings so powerful that in some cases they wanted to have sex with their own husbands.”

    Zing! I laughed.

  • jf12 says:

    “feelings so powerful that in some cases they wanted to have sex with their own husbands” Barry is the best.

    We all have always known what women who laid around the house all day watching soaps and reading “romance” novels and eating bonbons were actually doing, right? Correct: avoiding sex with their own husbands, NOT “creating desire”. There have never been any non-pharmaceutical marital erotic aids, neither books, videos, or devices, which have proven to increase frequency of sexual relations in marriage.

    And the one and only big reason that previously developed libido drugs for women, which do work very well by the way: libido can be created chemically but not behaviorly, have not been marketed is that almost none of the newly libidoized women confine their increased sexuality to their husbands. In the vast majority of cases, women taking e.g. sufficient testosterone to raise their blood T to 150 ng/dL, about 20% of a man’s, do experience vastly increased libido, thereby raising their masturbation rate from zero to approximately daily, because they have zero experience in repressing high libido. And in a minority of cases, many of which have gone to court, the women immediately begin having affairs with other men.

    The hunt continues for a “monogamy drug” i.e. a “love drug” that works on women, but there are a couple of contenders.

  • vetdoctor says:

    I loved this.

    Monogamy drug? Women who want sex with their husbands do so. Women taking the drug wanted something else from the beginning.

  • sunshinemary says:

    Monogamy drug? Women who want sex with their husbands do so. Women taking the drug wanted something else from the beginning.

    Indeed, and not only that, but having a low libido may or may not have anything to do with desiring one’s own husband, so I really don’t get what this obsession with a supposed monogamy drug is.

    There seems to be a group of men who are married to women who either have low libidos or do not desire their husbands or both. I am very sorry about that situation, and if I could speak to their wives I would tell them to pull it together, put on their game face, and fulfill their marital obligations.

    But these same men then conclude that all women everywhere are like their wives. No amount of personal anecdote or statistical evidence will dissuade them from their belief that there are no women who actually desire and have sex with their own husbands. They seem to believe that all women are just like their women and any evidence to the contrary is derided with their all-purpose disclaimer of NAWALT (which they paradoxically use to mean that all women ARE in fact like that).

  • sunshinemary says:

    OK, I’ve read Mr. Barry’s review.

    Do you guys have any idea how humiliating it is to belong to the gender that made FSoG a massive best seller? I burn with shame that over 50 million of my sisters found a book with a female character named Anastasia Steele worthy of purchasing.

  • jf12 says:

    Re: numbers of purchaser and readers. 50 Shades is the fastest selling book in history, and by far the fastest selling among women; nothing else is even close to the rate of women purchasing it. More than 100,000,000 50 Shades books have been sold legitimately, and estimates are that up to three hundred million women have read English versions of some or all.

  • Mike T says:

    Personally, I like Vox Day’s take on femporn which he notes is now primarily based around necrophilia (vampires) and beastiality (werewolves). So we are now in the amusing position of pastors who roast their men for viewing normal, heterosexual pornography having to ignore the fact that many of their women are dancing around the edge of two fetishes that are true abominations.

  • Peter Blood says:

    Do you guys have any idea how humiliating it is to belong to the gender that made FSoG a massive best seller?

    Women will be saved through childbearing, so there is hope.

  • That was beautiful.

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